Something Wrong

When I was younger, I prayed to God
thanks for everything and please
   reward the good
      reform the bad
         look after my loved ones (and I’d begin to list).

In the middle of these prayers
   sometimes, infrequently (hardly ever, but you know this)
I’d start cursing, streaming filth and
there’d be this tussle inside of
"dammit--shut up--this is not the fucking time."
   "fuck shitting crap fuck."
"Look--God--I’m really sorry. I don’t know why I fucking do this..."
   "Shit, look, I’ll try again tomorrow. Vagina."

Not hearing voices.
Not losing much grip.
Just seeing sparks fly into frame
from some fire out of sight.

The point?