When I was younger, I prayed to God
thanks for everything and please
reward the good
reform the bad
look after my loved ones (and Iíd begin to list).
In the middle of these prayers
sometimes, infrequently (hardly ever, but you know this)
Iíd start cursing, streaming filth and
thereíd be this tussle inside of
"dammit--shut up--this is not the fucking time."
"fuck shitting crap fuck."
"Look--God--Iím really sorry. I donít know why I fucking do this..."
"Shit, look, Iíll try again tomorrow. Vagina."
Not hearing voices.
Not losing much grip.
Just seeing sparks fly into frame
from some fire out of sight.