by Daniel Brodnitz
Once upon a time there was a mediocre cartoonist named Tom. Tom made a mediocre living writing cartoons that were circulated in more than 34 daily newspapers throughout the country. By day, Tom thought up interesting cartoon-related visual bits. But by night, he worried about his retirement. How would he survive when he was too old to think up dull and derivative shtick? Then he had an idea: What if he wrote a comic strip that referenced some random year in the future? When that happy number turned up on his calendar, he'd reach into his files, pull out his old drawings, and repackage them as a whacky retro novelty, priced to move. Well that's just what Tom did! And the results were astounding.
Time passed, as time does.
When 2017 finally rolled around, a series of increasingly unpleasant political scandals left few people hungry for affordable products showcasing an optimistic doodle from their past. In marked contrast, 2018 was a happy happy year, filled with spontaneous block parties and oversized produce.
Poor Tom.